Something "Interesting"

Journey to the East

2010-02-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

Bless Lee Lam Hong, I near miss my train.
By the time I reach there, it is about to depart. If i do miss it, I sure curse his whole generation.
He won't give me replacement for he have "inform" yesterday. So, he really thinks that we can get the ticket so easily? It is goddamn CNY. I have met another Brainless person. Brainless = got brain but didn't utilize.

After reach KL Sentral, I straight gone looking for bus to LCCT. Well, on the way down the stairs, I accidentally kick a cup of only god know what it is and it fall to bottom. I've heard some cursing downstairs.

On the Bus, journey to LCCT. After reach there, I decided to check in before having my dinner. But after 20 mins of searching, I can't find my goddamn flight. It didn't appear on the schedule. Then, I gone ask the person at the counter. She told me to go another booth, R14-R16. I went there, told her my flight number, time and destination. She reply me that my flight had been cancel. Luckily, she replace the flight for me. If not, I don't know what will happen to me. I've blank out for brief seconds when she told me, "Your flight has been cancel." and she pause for few seconds. Oh my GOD.

Since the replace flight depart on 6pm, I don't have time to eat my dinner. I just check in there and wait there. Who will know that the flight delay an hours. I'm so frustrated that I've make a wrong decision. I should have gone eat first of all until final call!

Until 10pm I reach KK, dad bring me to eat Wah Tan Ho. After reach home, durian for deserts. Then, gone bath with huge volume of water comparing to Kampar which the water is really equal to nothing. Lastly, switch on the air-con and sitting in-front of my com writing blog. Oh my GOD. I miss this life.

The two hunters

2009-12-21T16:58:00.003+08:00

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

What the bible said?

2009-12-21T13:54:00.000+08:00

Women

Wife listed among property
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
-- Exodus 20:17 (AV), The Tenth Commandment

Christian women: be silent
Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
-- I Corinthians 14:34-35 (NIV)

Woman must marry rapist
If a man [meets] a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her ... He must marry the girl ... He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
-- Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (NIV)

Virgin women are war booty
"Have you allowed all the women to live?" he [Moses] asked them.... "Now ... kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man."
-- Numbers 31:1-18 (NIV)

Children

Beatings don't kill kids
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod [sceptre], he shall not die.
-- Proverbs 23:13 (AV)

Execute stubborn kids
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son ... Then shall his father and his mother ... bring him out unto the elders of his city ... And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.
-- Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (AV)

Kids killed for mocking hero
Some small boys came out of the city and jeered at [the prophet Elisha], saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And ... he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.
-- II Kings 2:23-24 (RSV)

God orders child sacrifice
God did tempt Abraham, ... And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest ... and offer him there for a burnt offering...
-- Genesis 22:1-2 (AV)

Daughter: a burnt offering
Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: "If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return ... will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering." ... and the Lord gave them into his hands.... When Jephthah returned to his home..., who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of tambourines! And he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin.
-- Judges 11:30-32, 34, 39 (NIV)

Slavery Endorsed

Those who disagree spurned
... all who are under the yoke of slavery ... who have believing masters ... must serve all the better since those who benefit by their service are believers and beloved. Teach and urge these duties. If any one teaches otherwise ... he is puffed up with conceit, he knows nothing; he has a morbid craving for controversy..., which produce envy, dissension, slander, base suspicions, and wrangling among men who are depraved in mind...
-- I Timothy 6:1-5 (RSV)

How to mark your property
... thou shalt take an [awl], and thrust it through his ear..., and he shall be thy servant for ever.
-- Deuteronomy 15:17 (AV)

Uncut & Unsubtle

Before razors & bikini wax
Thy navel is like a round goblet, ... thy belly is like an heap of wheat.
-- Song of Solomon 7:2b (AV)

Sweet to the taste
I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
-- Song of Solomon 2:3 (AV)

The magic hand
My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.
-- Song of Solomon 5:4 (AV)

No comment
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
-- Ezekiel 23:20 (NIV)

Jesus Christ

The Prince of Peace
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother...
-- Matthew 10:34-35 (AV)

Stupid Gospel Tricks

The Fig Tree Enigma
The next day..., Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." ... In the morning..., they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter ... said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree ... has withered!"
-- Mark 11:12-14, 20-21 (NIV)

Points to remember

Jesus was hungry.
He looked for figs on a tree.
But it was not fig season.

Questions to ponder
If it wasn't fig season, why would even a moron look for figs?
Is killing a tree for not bearing fruit out of season a reasonable response by any standard?
Matthew 21:18-21 (written after and based upon Mark) says it withered at once. Mark says they saw it the next day and then marveled. Something's terribly wrong, here. Was Matthew possibly dissatisfied with a Jesus who'd take an entire day to wither a damned fig tree?
-- commentary by Cliff Walker

Families Outing

2009-12-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

Gone Lorenzo to see new cushion with brother and brother's gf, sister, and mother!

Next, wanting to see the new Perodua Alza but none of the shop open.

Afterward, gone Damai's Lintas Supermarket buy fruits!

Then, had lunch at Pizza Hut, Damai. Note: The toilet is totally digusting.

Finally, visiting mom's fren house near Tmn Kinabalu there.

Asura Cryin 2

2009-12-06T20:10:00.001+08:00

Updated to episode 10. 3 more episodes to go!
Story quite nice. It keeps you wondering what will happen next.
It progress beyond expectation! XD
Takatsuki have pact with Tomoharu!
That mean Tomo have his own demon power + daughter + Takatsuki + Kurogane Kai?
I prefer the old design Kurogane though. The mixture of black and white with red lines kinda weird.

春宵一刻值千金

2009-12-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

小賀好不容易送走鬧洞房的一堆朋友，
帶著幾分醉意，望向他夢寐以求的佳人──小鈴。
想到今晚終於可以享受古人所謂「春宵一刻值千金」的美妙，
不禁要感激小鈴在婚前絕不許他越雷池一步的堅持。

於是，興致勃勃地跳上床去，盡他做丈夫的義務。
對於小鈴的生澀，小賀帶著一絲得意，
但是，就覺得小鈴太「安靜」了點，
最後，小賀忍不住教她："小鈴，可不可以開開口，叫一下春。
"當然可以，那還不簡單，"

然後，小鈴像小學生般叫著，"春、春、春......(無言)

超強勁既MSN對話

2009-12-03T15:46:00.002+08:00

A：你叫什麼名字？
B：B
A：我是問真名。
B：MSN上有。
A：說出來好嗎？
B：為什麼要說？
A：說出來才好嗎。
B：怎麼好呢？
A：因為是我問的嗎
B：你問的就不能不說嗎？
A：我不是壞人呀。
B：壞人貼標籤了麼？
A：沒有啊。但我是好人呀。
B：請把好人證書傳來。
A：沒有啊。但你說才表示有誠意交朋友啊。
B：chankabo^_^
A：打汗字好嗎？
B：我打字不出汗。
A：我是說打你的名字。
B：我的名字惹你了嗎？
A：沒有啊。
B：那幹嘛打我的名字？
A：我是說打字。
B：哪個字惹你了？
A：唉，告訴我你的電話吧。
B：塑膠的，紅色。
A：不是，我是要你的電話。
B：我的電話我家還要用呢，你想要自己去買。
A：不是，我是要你把電話說出來。
B：電話是說出來的嗎？我還以為是工廠做出來的呢。
A：不是，我是要你的電話號。
B：在電話上嵌著呢，拿不下來啊。
A：我是問你的電話號是多少。
B：十二個，十個數字鍵，一個米字鍵，一個井字鍵。
A：我是問電話號是幾多。
B：從1到9，0在後邊。
A：我崩潰了！
B：你哪不舒服？
A：不是啊。
B：那怎麼崩潰了？絕症嗎？
A：問不到你的電話了啊。
B：電話對你很重要嗎？
A：電話是幹什麼的，不就是用來說話的嗎？你要告訴別人,電話才有用啊。
B：電話是用來上網的。
A：電話還是用來聊天的啊。
B：是啊，我們不是一直在聊天嗎？
A：哪聊了？你這半天什麼都沒說啊。
B：我說了幾十句話了。
A：唉，你都把我說暈了，下次再聊吧，byebye
B：Bye Bye

PS: Nice. I should learn how to reply like this too XD

如何避孕

2009-12-03T15:21:00.002+08:00

有一天老師問同學們如何避孕

小華：「老師我知道！戴保險套」

老師：「沒錯！」

大華：「還有吃避孕藥！」

老師：「也對！但不能100%避孕」

結果小新說：「老師，我說的這種方法絕對可以避孕」

老師：「哦，好那你說說看」

小新：「從後面..」

老師：「............」

破刃之剑 / Break Blade

2009-12-03T14:45:00.000+08:00

Which to choose, the country or my friend--!? The "Continent of Cruzon", a world where people are born with magic. Lygatto, one of the rare people "without magic" in this world, is getting swallowed up in the whirlpool of a massive war. With Lygatto as the core, four close friends are connected by cruel fate in a spectacular war tale!!!

In the continent of Cruzon, an impending war between the Kingdom of Krishna and the nation of Athens is brimming. The people of this land are able to wield the crystals from the ground for whatever purpose they desire. Yet one person, Lygatto Arrow, is not. He is an "un-sorcerer", a person unable to wield the crystals. But this characteristic will enable him to pilot an ancient mecha, one strong enough to put up a fight against the invading army of Athens.

Hyde and Closer

2009-12-02T13:50:00.002+08:00

The story begins with a tale of explaining magic. The main protagonist, is a 13-year-old named Shunpei Closer, he is viewed as a weak, and timid teenager. His grandfather, Alsyd Closer, was a magician, not the magician with tricks up their sleeves, a real magician. Alsyd would travel around the world constantly, only stopping in Japan every now and then to tell tales of his journeys to Shunpei. Before leaving to Africa on Shunpei's 7th birthday, Alsyd gave Shunpei a teddy bear named Hyde. Shunpei quickly grows attached to the teddy bear, stating he was Shunpei's best friend. Six years have passed, and Shunpei comes home one day, only to receive a package that had a stuffed animal in it. Soon, Shunpei is attacked by the toy, and is almost killed. But before getting killed, Shunpei is cornered into his room, and as the toy was about to strike, the teddy bear Shunpei's grandpa gave him comes to life, and protects Shunpei against the enemy. Shunpei is frightened of the fact that Hyde came to life at first, but Hyde quickly calms him down, and explains how Shunpei, is the magician's number one target in the world. At this moment, the stuffed animal earlier is still alive, and ruthlessly attacks Hyde with knives, and forks. Leaving Hyde at a disadvantage because his only weapon is in his back, and he can't reach his back himself, meaning he needed Shunpei to do it for him. Shunpei struggles to get away from the fight, believing that if he runs away, everything would be fine, but he remembers how he was treated at school, and calls himself "Pathetic". Summoning up his courage, Shunpei returns to the fight, and brings out the Texas Chainsaw within Hyde. With this new weapon, the stuffed animal is easily destroyed. With the duo finishing up their first battle of many, Shunpei learns more about his grandfather more than he could have possibly dared, and to overcome the coward that he himself, and everyone else thought he was.

"What Does Love Mean?"

2009-11-30T10:41:00.000+08:00

By:Ladan Lashkari

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds: "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think...
_____
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
_____
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8
_____
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
_____
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
_____
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5
_____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
_____
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
_____
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (Now THIS is love!)
Lauren - age 4
_____
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image!)
Karen - age 7
_____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
_____
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
_____

And the final one...

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Article Source: http://www.redsofts.com/articles/

Ladan Lashkari publishes Creative Success Tips Newsletter where you'll receive unique, creative happiness ideas and motivational quotes, stories and poems to feel more love and joy every day. Subscribe for FREE at: www.CreativeSuccessTips.com

PSP Go

2009-11-30T10:16:00.001+08:00

The PSP Go (styled PSPgo or PSP go, model PSP-N1000) is a version of the PlayStation Portable handheld video game console manufactured by Sony. It was released on October 1, 2009 in American and European territories and on November 1 in Japan. It was revealed prior to E3 2009 through Sony's Qore VOD service. Although its design is significantly different from other PSPs, it is not intended to replace the PSP 3000, which Sony will continue to manufacture, sell, and support.

Unlike previous PSP models, the PSP Go does not feature a UMD drive, but instead has 16GB of internal flash memory to store games, video, and other media. This can be extended by up to 32GB with the use of a Memory Stick Micro (M2) flash card. Unlike previous PSP models, the PSP Go's rechargeable battery is not removable or replaceable by the user. The unit is 43% lighter and 56% smaller than the original PSP-1000, and 16% lighter and 35% smaller than the PSP-3000. It has a 3.8" 480×272 LCD (compared to the larger 4.3" 480×272 pixel LCD on previous PSP models). The screen slides up to reveal the main controls. The overall shape and sliding mechanism are similar to that of Sony's mylo COM-2 internet device.

PS: I will own 1 in future XD

American Pie: The Book of Love!

2009-11-30T09:38:00.000+08:00

Ten years after the first American Pie movie, three new hapless virgins discover the Bible hidden in the school library at East Great Falls High. Unfortunately for them, the book is ruined, and with incomplete advice, the Bible leads them on a hilarious journey to lose their virginity.

Cast

Eugene Levy	...	Mr. Levenstein
Bug Hall	...	Rob
Kevin M. Horton	...	Nathan
Brandon Hardesty	...	Lube
Beth Behrs	...	Heidi
Melanie Papalia	...	Dana
Jennifer Holland	...	Ashley
John Patrick Jordan	...	Scott Stifler
Cindy Busby	...	Amy
Naomi Hewer	...	Alyson
Adrienne Carter	...	Katie
Kevin Federline	...	Border guard (unconfirmed)
Louisa Lytton	...	Imogen
Edwin Perez	...	Gibbs
Taryn Maria	...	Jenny

魔王爱勇者

2009-11-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

漫画简介

统率众怪物的魔王?席拉，原先打算干掉勇者，却意外被他所救，跟着他一起逃命 !! 没遇过这么有趣的人，让席拉声称爱上了勇者，缠着他一同踏上旅程。被三申五令不能杀生的席拉和立志杀掉魔王的勇者，两人之间的纠葛会如何发展呢…… !?

与勇者结伴同行的魔王席拉，除了拉可许利这回又加入了新的伙伴．安洁莉卡。但是镜的出面让席拉不得不面对怪物们群龙无首的现实。然而席拉创造出暂代魔王一职的分身，竟扬言要杀掉勇者！愤怒不已的席拉将…… !?

艾克萨只身前往城里谒见国王，直言不讳的他使得王震怒不已。王命人逮捕勇者入狱，欲将其处以死刑！就在此时，现役的魔王?席拉的分身见机不可失，下令众魔物攻灭城堡，连同勇者一起……！

由于拉可许利的出现与艾克萨等人并肩作战，使王城免于被摧毁的命运。但王的生命已危在旦夕，誓言杀尽天下怪物的他，却在临死前洞悉席拉即为魔王！另一方面，艾克萨的剑遭人折断，欲寻求传说之剑Mirage的他前往塔顶，结果会是……kuku动漫收集整理

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

2009-11-28T13:05:00.000+08:00

Gurren Lagann takes place in a fictional future in which human beings have been forced under Earth's surface and live in isolated subterranean civilizations. These "villages" have no contact with the surface world or other villages. Because frequent earthquakes damage infrastructure, the villages must constantly extend deeper into the earth—individuals relegated to this task are known as "Diggers".

Favorite Quotes:

"Don't believe in me who believes in you, don't believe in you who believes in me, believe in you, who believes in himself"

天降之物

2009-11-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

故事講述的是居住在空見町裡的男主角-櫻井智樹，某天上課睡覺時夢見一個長了翅膀的女性向自己求救，然後晚上遇到從天而降及自稱是「玩賞用人造天使」的不明生物-伊卡洛斯，自此兩人居住起來，智樹的生活就開始脫軌。伊卡洛斯把降落後見到的第一位人類，也就是智樹稱呼為「主人」，並能夠利用不可思議的卡片實現他的一切願望。隨隨便便就能夠變出一千億現金，又或者令智樹變成透明人，還可以讓時間停止，總之什麼都可以辨得到！然而，當智樹滿足了一個健全男子的全部慾望後，伊卡洛斯竟因誤會而做出令人類滅亡的「奇蹟」！？到底這位主人將怎樣解決這個人類的重大危機呢？

Protagonist is 櫻井智樹

SUCCESS

2009-11-26T12:29:00.001+08:00

Little Johnny Learns about Government

2009-11-26T12:13:00.000+08:00

MEN rules

2009-11-26T12:09:00.001+08:00

PS: Sharing is caring. But Saying out loud won't change the fact. XD

Beer > Women

2009-11-26T11:53:00.002+08:00

RETARDED GIRLS

2009-11-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

Left For Dead Owned

2009-11-26T11:36:00.003+08:00

Owned Cats

2009-11-26T11:30:00.003+08:00

Useful Website

2009-11-26T10:46:00.001+08:00

Post for future sake when i needed it :D
Don't bother this post.

Drivers Planet

CodeFetch

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

2009-11-26T09:58:00.002+08:00

1. Thou SHALT NOT believe all thou art told.

Humans are generally very gullible. We believe are sorts of false statements, stories, reasoning, etc. We even continue to believe falsehoods after they have been proven untrue. History is full of amazing hoaxes often supported by religion and the teachings of the Church or by others seeking power, popularity or fortune. We have been told the Earth was flat and has four corners which, if not careful, we may fall off. We have been told that the Earth is the center of the Universe. We have been told that sky if a fixed, firm structure to which the sun, moon and stars are affixed. We have been told that personalities and future events are predictable using astrology, card reading, crystal balls and palm reading. We have been told of prophecies by Nostradamas. We have been told of speaking with the dead, the dead rising, life after death, reincarnation and bending spoons, to name only a few. We must be more skeptical in what we are told, what we read and what we are exposed to through the various forms of broadcast media. When exposed to something new, do NOT accept what you hear without facts to support it. There are other agendas at work in your deception. You must always be on guard to protect yourself and your knowledge.

2. Thou SHALT seek knowledge and truth constantly.

There are many adverse factors making it difficult for us to obtain knowledge and the truth. There is often no motivating factor driving others to present you with fair, factual, scientific truths. By weaving a complex web of lies, religions are able to control people and remain in power. Governments may hide facts and events for fear of scaring the public. There are more advertising dollars and higher ratings in broadcasting claims of communicating with the dead than in Kepler's Laws of Planetary Motion. Therefore, we must take an active role in our own education and constantly seek the truth. It isn't always obvious and is often very difficult to obtain. Thou SHALT make time to read non-fiction. Thou SHALT make time to view educational programs. Thou SHALT spend as much time in the library as you do in the mall or watching television.

3. Thou SHALT educate thy fellow man in the Laws of Science.

People are generally lazy and hold onto currently held false beliefs. This condition is not acceptable to the ethical atheist. It is not good enough to sit comfortably with your knowledge of the Universe and look in pity at those who are still governed by lies, mythology and sensationalism. Scientific education is the only way to prevail. Only by increasing the comprehension of scientific truths can we hope to continue our progress past the Dark Ages. Only if the world contains more educated people can we hope to not have setbacks. Thou SHALT NOT sit silent and be a closet atheist. Thou SHALT enlighten thy neighbor.

4. Thou SHALT NOT forget the atrocities committed in the name of god.

Many people have limited knowledge, or none at all, of the atrocities committed during the Inquisition, the Crusades, etc. by the Church and in the name of religion. Christians are not unique in their cruelty. For example, Muslim civilizations often imprison, torture or kill those attempting to convert their citizens to Christianity. (See Atrocities in the Name of Religion - coming soon...) Few are even remotely aware of these atrocities or think, "Oh, that was a long time ago and could never happen again". However, it hasn't been that long ago and is still occurring today in countries like Bosnia, Rwanda, Burundi, Somalia, Israel, Tibet and Afghanistan. Thou SHALT fear a repeat of history.

5. Thou SHALT leave valuable contributions for future generations.

The nature of knowledge gain is that new truths are most often found by building upon known facts. If every generation were required to start fresh in its quest for knowledge, our progress would be severely impacted. Our children will not have to go back and prove that the earth is not flat. They will not have to rediscover the atom. It is important that our generation, and all those that follow, leave scientific knowledge and resources for our offspring to build upon. Write a book. Publish an article. Develop a web site. Leave money to organizations that further science and education.

6. Thou SHALT live in peace with thy fellow man.
This should not need stating, but murders, torture, wars and brutality are ever present in all civilizations on earth and have been for all of recorded history. Most of the large scale wars, as well as suicide bombers, are driven by religious beliefs and the belief in an afterlife. Even though many religions claim to be against killing, they promote that killing for god is divine and will ensure a special status in the afterlife. If we didn't have these widespread mythological beliefs, there would likely be a massive decrease in the killings.

7. Thou SHALT live this one life thou hast to its fullest.
We do not believe in an afterlife nor that we will be reincarnated to live again in another form. It is, therefore, imperative that we live this one life we have to its fullest. We should not live in a puritanical way, starving ourselves of pleasures, in hopes that it somehow makes us better or that we will be judged more favorably in our "next life". However, in living our lives to the fullest, we must always be conscious of our actions to ensure that they do not have adverse effects on our fellow man.

8. Thou SHALT follow a Personal Code of Ethics.
Everyone should have their own personal code of ethics that drives their behavior. What this contains is an individual undertaking, but current laws are a good starting point. Many of the commandments of the Bible can be summarized by this commandment. For example, it should be self-evident that murder, lying and stealing should be avoided and honoring your mother and father are necessary, assuming of course that they are worthy of this respect (e.g. they are not beating/raping you or otherwise abusing you). In general, a personal code of ethics would not cause harm to others, would be anchored in truth and would strive to make society a better place.

9. Thou SHALT maintain a strict separation between Church and State.
It is extremely dangerous to mix the mind controlling, fear generating, mythological beliefs of religion with the governing aspects and power of the state. History is full of examples. Many who founded the United States knew this and were willing to die to escape the horrors of Europe. We know that freedom can be measured by the separation of church and state.

10. Thou SHALT support those who follow these commandments.
Get involved! Our progress in the last 250 years has been ard fought. Do not sit idle and let us suffer setbacks. Religious conservatives are highly organized and well funded. They continue to spread lies. They are trying to rid our schools of teaching evolution. They are infiltrating government. They are targeting our children's young, impressionable minds. We must support those who follow these commandments in every way possible.

I've Learned

2009-11-25T10:37:00.002+08:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
And it's not the end of the world.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't five me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned taht your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love
and be loved.
I've learned...

Sex and Drugs

2009-11-25T10:07:00.000+08:00

LSD/ Magic mushrooms

High: Some users report an increased sexual awareness while tripping.
Low: Trips are unpredictable. Hallucinating unpleasantly during sex could be traumatic, while a heavy dose may leave users totally turned off.

Cocaine

High: Cocaine is a stimulant drug. In small doses it can increase sexual arousal and make orgasms and erections easier.
Low: In larger amounts, cocaine can still fuel sexual desire, while decreasing the ability to actually perform properly. Problems achieving erection and orgasm are very common.

Amphetamines (speed)

High: The initial rush may lift the libido, but the feeling is unlikely to last.
Low: Male users may find the penis is less sensitive or responsive, and ejaculation difficult to achieve. As a result, sex can last a long time - which places both partners at risk of chafing (rubbed raw skin). Painfully funny on paper. Pure pain, in reality.

Cannabis

High: Users can feel less inhibited and unfriendly, while the increased sensory perception can turn stoners all touchy-feely.
Low: Blokes on dope risk a reduction in testosterone production, and a drop in sperm count, while females may experience some fertility problems due to changes in ovulation and menstrual cycles.

Ecstasy

High: An increased sense of warmth and empathy towards sexual partner. Some users feel they are more physically aroused, (although others report a loss of sensation and delayed orgasm).
Low: Increases the chances of risky sexual behaviour. A recent study showed users were more likely not to bother using condoms or other forms of contraception. Also, the drug-induced sense of loving everyone around you could mean you wind up sleeping with someone you don't really like at all.

Opiates

High: Drugs such as heroin, morphine and codeine belong to a drug group called opiates, which have a painkilling, detached effect. Codeine, in particular, is a feature in some strong over-the-counter painkilling products, so about the only appeal there, sex-wise, is that headaches won't wash as an excuse.
Low: Opiate misuse can lead to full time problems such as impotence, lowered libido and difficulty attaining orgasm.

Poppers (alkyl nitrites)

High: Some users take poppers during sex because they enjoy the brief, intense head rush and relaxant effect. Particularly popular among gay men.
Low: Alkyl nitrites reduce blood pressure. This means Viagra users should steer clear as the combination could be fatal.
The potential effect of a drug on sex is just one of many factors to consider before taking any substance. Knowledge is power, so get wise to the risks involved right.

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys

2009-11-25T09:58:00.004+08:00

By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule

They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation. Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.

Imprinting

You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

The Trek factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary. This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky-but-heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man: Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize. To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

Post-It Note

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons:

Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
Victoria actually knew who he meant.
Folks, I think this marriage will last.

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.

PS: So, are you a geek?

Is there any nutrition in sperm?

2009-11-25T09:53:00.000+08:00

Sperm, or more appropriate to your question, semen, is about 95% water. There are trace amounts of zinc, Vitamin C and some other minerals and elements, but it's mostly water. It's probably not enough to keep you alive, but it won't kill you either. Remember, its mission in life is to swim up the vagina, find an egg and beat its head against the door until it gets in. It's not designed as a sports drink....

Additional opinions from WikiAnswers contributors:

Yes, it has lots of vitamins and also proteins and amino acids. It is really good for you. It has anti-depressant properties as well that improve your mood.

Recent scientific studies from the FDA show that the consumption of sperm is directly correlated with weight loss. The results on average showed that consumption of 9 grams of sperm per week led to losing 1 pound of body fat.
** The above statement would prove very useful line on girls -if it were true- which it isn't. Sperm does NOT cause weight loss and is NOT a proven antidepressant

To correct the "antidepressant" issue, sperm HAS been associated with elevated mood in a recent study, but this was only concerning unprotected vaginal intercourse, not swallowing. Participants in the study agreed to have only either protected vaginal intercourse or unprotected vaginal intercourse. Females whose partner ejaculated inside the vagina were significantly happier, on a consistent basis, than those whose partner used a condom. The effect is assumed to be because of hormones contained within the ejaculate fluid, which would be absorbed by the female body. In the case of oral sex, the hormones would be broken down by the digestive tract before they could have any effect.

PS: To solve Yours Curiosity XD

A Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

2009-11-24T11:49:00.003+08:00

Taoism:	Shit happens.
Confucianism:	Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism:	If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism:	Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2:	What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:	This shit has happened before.
Islam:	If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2:	If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3:	If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism:	If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism:	Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian:	This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian:	It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist:	It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist:	Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian:	Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran:	If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism:	If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2:	If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3:	Shit must be born again.
Judaism:	Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism:	Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism:	No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism:	God made all shit.
Secular Humanism:	Shit evolves.
Christian Science:	When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
Christian Science #2:	Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism:	Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers:	Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism:	This shit does not stink.
Darwinism:	This shit was once food.
Capitalism:	That's MY shit.
Communism:	It's everybody's shit.
Feminism:	Men are shit.
Chauvanism:	We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism:	Let's package this shit.
Impressionism:	From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism:	Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism:	Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2:	What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism:	This shit is good for me.
Hedonism:	There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism:	God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2:	This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan:	An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology:	If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses:	>Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2:	May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3:	Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies:	Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna:	Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism:	Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism:	Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius:	BoB shits.
Practical:	Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic:	Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2:	Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3:	What is this shit?
Satanism:	SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism:	What shit?
Atheism #2:	I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism:	No shit.

Training - Week 8

2009-11-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

I've ended up sleeping yesterday and Ms. Zin Lu own me a story telling.

Nothing unusually happened recently. Everything go on smoothly.

Left 5 more working weeks and finally I'm free!! It is freaking HOLIDAY!!! XD

God bless UTAR for changing the academic calender. =.=||| I can at least stay one more week at home. T_T

Internet Vices

2009-11-24T11:05:00.000+08:00

is a bottle of wine

A quiet night in with a couple friends, and a couple of their friends. Spilling nostalgic stories, flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs, aiming for poignancy, and occasionally stumbling onto it. Emotions flow freely and without thought.

is crack cocaine

Fucking ANYONE is your friend. Yuppies do it on their iPhone. Cheap. Short. Fruitless.

is shots of tequila

"Just ONE" to humor your friend quickly turns into 4 or 5. Anything and everything becomes wildly entertaining. A fun way to waste some time you won't really remember the details of. Probably for the best.

is a tab of good acid

Everyone here is pretty nice and pretty chill. You'll witness some truly beautiful things. Sometimes emotional, visits can be long or short, but you'll leave amazed, and with a better understanding of the world.

is a vodka cranberry

Social lubricant used to enhance still developing social etiquette. You're aware of your uninhibited actions, but comforted by the built in safety net of excuses.

is huffing spray paint

Destroys any chance of looking credible. You will be perceived as having the mindset of a middle schooler, and probably do.

is bong hits of weed

Sensationalist political and religious talk. Plans of overthrowing mass media fall prey to collective laziness. Obsess over some "mind blowing" HDR photography.

is caffeine pills

Great for a quick pick me up to stimulate productivity, but ultimately leaves you exhausted and relying on it.

Internet-Vices

我是一個極其討厭AV和看AV的人

2009-11-24T10:57:00.001+08:00

黃色產物，如同洪水猛獸，毒害著年輕一代，這是多麼不堪的現狀！
當然，我也看過，每當夜深人靜的時候，我也會打開電腦，點擊網頁，尋找——下載。
但我看這些片子，是批判的看，是仇恨的看，是帶著一個有良知的人內心深處那種憤慨的看！
我要看一看，日本AV產業是怎樣把一個個如花似玉的妙齡女子，變成AV女星的！

而至於那些什麼
北條香理, 蒼井空, 川濱奈美, 堤莎也加, 町田梨乃, 二階堂仁美, 飯島愛, 飯田夏帆, 飯塚友子, 芳本葉月, 岡崎結由, 岡田麗奈, 高木萌美, 高田禮子, 高原流美, 宮本真美, 宮島司, 古都光, 光月夜也, 河村亞季子, 河井梨緒, 黑崎扇菜, 紅月流奈, 華歌戀, 吉川萌, 及川奈央, 吉川真奈美, 吉崎紗南, 吉野莎莉, 今井明日香, 今木翔子, 金澤藍子, 進籐玲菜, 井上可奈, 久保美希, 酒井未希, 臼井利奈, 菊池麗香, 菊池英里, 菊池智子, 橘真央, 具志堅陽子, 可愛亞織沙, 葵小夏, 藍山南, 蘭望美,裡見奈奈子, 裡美奈奈子, 裡美由梨香, 立花麗華, 立木愛, 涼白舞, 鈴川玲理, 鈴江紋奈, 鈴木麻奈美,蘆屋瞳, 麻川美緒, 麻生葉子, 美裡霞, 美崎涼香, 美雪沙織, 美月蓮, 明日香, 木谷麻耶, 奈奈見沙織, 內籐花苗, 內田理沙 ,鯰川亞美, 片瀨亞紀, 平山朝香, 前原優樹, 前原佑子, 淺見伽椰, 淺井理,青木琳, 青木玲, 青野詩織, 青羽未來, 青沼知朝, 秋本玲子, 秋菜裡子, 秋元優奈, 如月可憐, 若林樹裡, 若月樹裡, 森下理音, 紗月結花, 杉浦清香, 杉山亞來, 山下由美子, 杉原涼子, 上原留華, 神城千佳,神崎麻衣,神崎麻子,矢吹麗,手束桃,樹本涼子,水城凜,水野朋美,水野茜,水越麗子,四季彩香寺田彌生,松浦夢,松浦唯,松田千夏,松下愛來,松下可憐,松元靜香,速水真保,籐彩香,籐代流花,籐崎秋,籐森智子,天衣美津,田村麻衣,望月瞳,舞島美織,午後野彌生,西澤友裡,夏美舞,相川未希,相戶愛,相田由美,小倉杏,小川流果,筱宮知世,小栗杏菜,小森美王,小室優奈,小野由佳,筱原涼,小澤菜穗,小澤瑪麗亞,筱塚真樹子,星愛麗斯,星崎瞳,星野綾香,星野洋子,星野真彌,徐若櫻,雪乃小春,巖下美季,遙優衣,野宮美憂,野原奈津美,葉月千穗,伊東美華,一色麗矢,一色鯰美,一條沙希,乙伊沙也加,櫻井沙也加,由樹莉莉,有川真生,有吉奈生子,有森玲香,雨宮優衣,原千尋,原史奈,原田春奈,遠野麻耶,月野靜玖,早紀麻未,早乙女舞,澤舞音,長瀨愛,長月亞美,真木亞里沙,真山潤,中川珠代,中村理央,中根由真,中山美玖,中原綾,仲井美帆,竹田樹理,佐伯美奈,佐佐木,幸田梨紗,北原愛子,成膳任,戴文青木,德永千奈美,笛木優子,福原愛,高見美香,高樹瑪麗亞,宮崎葵,觀月雛乃,海江田純子,後籐理莎,後籐香南子,磯山沙耶香,磯山沙也加,吉岡美穗,吉澤瞳,加納則子,加籐小雪,菅谷梨沙子,結城翼,井上和香,井上熏,酒井瑛裡,久紗野水萌,鈴木愛理,玲木美生,瀧澤乃南,美依旗由美,木下亞由美,前田知惠,前原愛,淺田真央,清水佐紀,入江紗綾,三尺真奈美,三宅尚子,森下千里,上原綾,石村舞波,矢田亞希子,市川由衣,市井紗耶香,嗣永桃子,松島菜菜子,松居彩,松元莉緒,樋口真未,細川直美,夏燒雅,相樂紀子,小川熏,小林惠美,小野奈美,小澤真珠,星野亞希,須籐茉麻,亞紀奈,巖田小百合,伊籐步,優香,友崎玲,中澤裕子,佐籐麻紗,安籐沙耶,奧山唯子,白崎令於,柏木奈純,板谷佑,濱田翔子,朝霧唯,川崎愛,大和撫子,大西由梨香,島田百合花,二宮優,紺野舞子,崗原厚子,高鳩陽子,古河由摩,谷田未央,河合綾純美,和久井辛,和希沙,黑田美禮,橫倉裡奈,後籐亞維梨,戶田惠梨香,吉瀨美智子,加籐麻依,江紗綾,井上詩織,井上優香,井真理繪,堀井美月,蓮沼民子,柳明日,落合玲奈,牧瀨奈美,木下亞由,奈良沙緒理, 淺丘南,秋本那夜,秋山玲子,秋庭比呂子,三尺真奈,三井保奈美,森下真理,山吹美花,山口紗彌加,杉裡香,神代弓子,樹梨沙,水谷利加,松鳩永裡奈,松山麻美,松嶼初音,塔山直美,籐香南子,天使美樹,天野理惠,田崎由希,桐島淳子,尾崎美果, 西野美緒,相澤優香,小林裡實,小早川洋子,葉山小姬,櫻樹露衣,櫻田佳子,永井繪理香,遠籐真紀,早川美波,早川桃香,折原琴,中鳩廣香,中澤夏木,竹野內豐,佐籐江梨花,愛內萌,愛田露美,愛田毛毛,安倍夏實,安原真美,奧山香,八木澤,白川美奈美,白鳥智惠子,白亞朱裡,北山靜香,北原步,北原真裕,倉本安奈,倉田杏裡,朝比奈真理,朝倉加穗裡,朝倉瑪麗亞,持田茜,沖田由加裡,川奈由依,大友梨奈,島田香奈,堤沙也加,渡邊香,風間舞,風見京子,福山洋子,岡本夏生,高倉梨奈,高野瞳,宮本瞳,宮本陽子,宮地奈,宮間沙布子,工籐瞳,宮下杏菜,河田純子,和希結衣,橫山千枝,華美月,姬野莉夢,吉田友裡,吉野碧,菅野美壽紀,江口美貴,結衣美沙,金城美麗,井上彩菜,井上雅,鳩村熏,酒井美幸,菊池則江,君島美香,可愛亞芝莎,來棲敦子,藍原夕妃,蝦原舞,立花優,立原貴美,戀野戀,鈴木由美,麻生岬,麻生真美子,麻田子,茂森亞弓,美波志保,木內亞吉拉,內田京香,品田由依,平山綾,前島美步,前田亞紀,淺見憐,淺野子,青木美裡,清木裕子,青山遙,青山葉子,三瀨真美子,三崎真緒,三上夕希,三尾安齊,森宏子,森山子,森野雫,山口理惠,山口美紀,山口萌,杉山圭,杉田惠美,山田譽子,杉原愛砂,上原亞也加,神崎美樹,神田美沙紀,聖瑛麻,石川恩惠,石川瞳,石川優季奈,矢吹涼子,矢吹麻理奈,矢擇優子,水城梓,水希遙,松島奈奈子,松紗良,速水憐,籐井彩,籐崎弭代,田山真美子,田中梨子,田中美久,瞳理歐,望月七,望月沙香,望月英子,武田真治,夏結玲,相紀美,相樂晴子,相仁澤美,相原裡奈,翔巴輝,小池亞弭,小峰由衣,筱宮慶子,小田涼子,小向杏奈,小野瀨,幸田李梨,巖崎千鶴,野宮凜子,野野由利加,葉山路易,一宮理繪,伊籐美沙紀, 一條小百合,櫻庭涼子,永井流奈,優木裡緒奈,優木美紗,羽田夕夏,原惠美子,遠山雪乃,遠籐梨奈,早瀨理沙,早乙女香織,長谷川,真純麻子,織原奈美, 柊麗子,中條佳奈子,中野美奈,仲村桃,足立美,佐籐有紀,八木亞希子,朝比奈英里,朝倉仁美,朝倉香乃,朝倉遙,朝美光,朝美繪乃香,朝丘瞳,朝霞佳繪美,赤西涼,川野亞希子,大久保玲,飯干惠子,福光千穗,岡田安希,高以亞希子,和久井由菜,吉木純菜,吉澤京子,井上華菜,君野夢,堀切子,楠麻耶,南使香,平丸久美子,青木友梨,仁乃慶子,三浦富美子,山本京子,榊彩彌,矢野顯子,水野亞美,水澤千夏,太田優,籐森子,相崎琴音,相澤紀美,星美織,楊原京子,早川瀨裡奈,齋籐朝子,長澤築實,中谷香織,中森子,中條美華,竹內愛,莊司愛, 佐籐春菜,佐籐子,津野田熏,吉井玲奈,阿嘉奈津,安籐希,安田奈央,奧川希美,奧山美夏,白鳥美由紀,百合香,北村夕起,北山英里,朝倉志穗,朝丘南, 朝丘紗智,朝日美穗,朝永真彌,朝長真彌,純名梨沙,村田洋子,大林典子,二瓶有香,芳賀優裡雅,妃今日子,福美香織,岡本多緒,剛野鳳子,高橋由美子, 桂木萌,河合梓,橫須賀,吉成香,吉村優,臼井裡繪,橘友賀,來棲涼子,瀨戶美貴子,瀨雅子,林繪裡,玲櫻奈,美月由奈,夢野瑪麗亞,秘叉華,木內美步, 木尾原真弓,牧野泉,鯰川直美,清水理惠子,萩原舞,泉由香,三浦桃,松樹梨,松下真依子,松元伊代,籐宮知世,田村茜,田真潮,桐島惠理香,梶原真弓, 西尾佑裡,相澤朝海,相澤沙賴,小阪光,小倉艾莉絲,筱峰愛,野乃原,優裡香,由津希,澤緒凜,長曾我部蓉子,真莉亞,真崎麻衣,仲根佳繪美,愛原千芙, 綾波優,奧菜千春,奧菜翼,八木原麻優,白川沙也加,白石楓,白石麻梨子,寶來美雪,北原雪,寶生琉璃,草剃純,長瀨茜,赤阪梨乃,赤阪美步,大路惠美, 島津訝子,德井唯,兒島香緒裡,福澤京子,宮澤璃音,吉野美穗,橘琉璃,瀨戶准,瀨名涼子,片瀨梨音,齊籐美穗,槍田彩野,橋本美步,三笑明日香,上原繪裡香,石井淳笑,松岡理穗,松井夏穗,松元亞璃沙,唐澤美樹,小池繪美子,小泉琉美,小山涉,小野谷實穗,星野琉海,續麗子,巖崎美穗,澤山涼子,辰巳奈都子,熱田久美,姬野香,榎本瑞穗,榎本瑞愴,榎木加奈子,星野真唯,八木澤莉央,八木澤景一,柏木瞳一郎,坂下千里子,保坂拓見,北原一笑,瀧北智子, 夏本加奈子,端本千奈美,愛本瑞穗,本樹尤真,倉內安奈,小鹿純子,長坂仁惠,赤坂麗,赤坂七惠,赤笑伶奈,川村美笑,春日笑衣,鐮田奈津美,風見裡穗, 富田梨惠,高坂真由,宮笑志帆,光笑玲奈,黑坂真美,胡桃澤馬裡奈,吉成香子,吉田亞笑,今井優,井坂繪美,久留須由美,藍田美豐,笠木彩花,豐島真千子,鈴木美生,吉田亞紀子,琉川淳子,美笑沙耶,美笑亞彌,美笑亞沙,夢笑亞由,乃木真利子,乃坂繪美,佐籐和沙,金子紗香,片瀨梨子,中島千晶,淺野京子,吉澤有希子,瀨間幸美,金子美鈴,三田愛裡,三田友穗,三笑真緒,笑小雪,沙耶香,相田紗耶香,杉田美園,侍山涼子,山崎亞美,山笑萌,山笑千里,山笑舞,山笑亞香裡,山笑一步,長瀨美優,長瀨美華,櫻井美優,坂上友香,神樂坂惠,神田朱未,神田美笑,小島聖,澤詩奈奈子,石川施恩惠,石坂伊津佳,水笑涼子,水笑亞里美,水野理紗,松坂慶子,松坂紗良,松坂樹梨,灘坂舞,籐井樹,齊籐小雪,籐笑彩美,籐笑理香,白石美樹,品川幸菜,吉崎渚,田代沙織, 田島美美,澤田悠裡,田中玲娜,田坂菜月,田坂仁美,舞坂由衣,香坂仁見,笑田葵,薰櫻子,冴島奈緒,野坂惠美,野坂奈津美,觀月亞里沙,伊吹美奈裳,音笑洵,真鍋薰,岡真裡子,向井真理子,松坂季實子,椎名英姬,佐倉真衣,前田亞季,坂本冬美,坂本繪,持月真由,立花里子...................

我更是一個都不認識！根本都沒有聽說過!

Numbers for words

2009-11-24T10:49:00.002+08:00

0 代表「你」
1 代表「一」
2 代表「愛」
3 代表「想」
4 代表「是、世」
5 代表「我」
6 代表「又」
7 代表「親」
8 代表「輩、抱、被、怕、發」
9 代表「久、就」

所以呢
0243...............你好死相！
758.................嫁我吧
3406...............想死你了
9420...............就是愛你
04551..............你是我唯一
04592..............你是我最愛
33230..............深深愛上你
68530..............老爸我想你
1314920...........一生一世就愛你
2451625...........你是否依然愛我
5120184...........我要愛你一輩子
53542306..........我想我是愛上了你

男人&女人(18+)

2009-11-24T10:37:00.002+08:00

一家人正在享用晚餐。兒子問父親：“爸，乳房有多少種？”

父親有點驚訝，答：“孩子，一共有三種乳房。當女人在20多歲時，

她們的胸部就像蜜瓜般，又圓又結實；當她們在30歲到40歲左右時，

胸部就像梨子，仍然美麗，可是有點下垂。50歲過後，她們（的胸部）就像洋蔥。洋蔥？

是的，當你看到她們時就想哭。

父子的談話激怒了妻子和女兒，於是女兒問：“媽，陽具有那幾種？”

母親有點驚訝，微笑的答：“親愛的，男人會經過三個階段，

每個階段就像不同的樹。

當他們在20歲的時候，像個橡樹，強而有力。

到了30歲至40歲時，像棵樺樹，柔軟但可靠。

50過後，他們就像聖誕樹。”

聖誕樹？

是的，根部以上的都是死的，而且那些氣球只是為了裝飾而已。

Photoshop Face Crppping

2009-11-24T10:36:00.002+08:00

Nicely Crop! Bravo!!

聰明的中國人

2009-11-24T10:31:00.002+08:00

來自美國、日本和中國的三個探險者在非洲探險時被食人族捉住，食人族酋長比較開恩，決定不吃他們，但必須罰他們每人100大板，並允許他們各自許下一個願。　

首先是美國人，美國人自信的求道: “請把6個坐墊放在我屁股上。”

酋長答應了美國人的要求。可是，坐墊比較薄，打到第70板時，坐墊已經破爛不
堪，

美國人精神恍惚地嘟囔道：“不管怎樣，我們的民族最有創造力的……”然後便昏死過去。

輪到日本人，他目睹了美國人的慘狀，於是請求道：“請在6個床墊放在我屁股上。”　　　　

酋長答應了日本人的要求。

日本人被打了100大板後，笑呵呵地起來說道：“我們的民族是模仿力最強的民族！”　

輪到中國人，中國人不慌不忙的笑著請求道：

Photoshop Effect

2009-11-24T10:30:00.000+08:00

聖誕節把妹的"惡"方法

2009-11-24T10:24:00.003+08:00

千萬不能騙小孩

2009-11-24T10:12:00.002+08:00

第一天
小明在上學途中
遇到一群不良少年
不良少年對小明說:[幹]
小明回家問媽媽說:[幹事什麼?]
媽媽回答:[幹就是爺爺的意思]
第二天
小明又遇到不良少年
不良少年對小明說:[精子]
小明回家問媽媽說:[精子是什麼?]
媽媽回答:[精子就是牛奶的意思]第三天
小明還是遇到不良少年
不良少年對小明說:[LP]
小明回家問媽媽說:[LP是什麼?]
媽媽回答:[LP就是柺杖的意思]

有一天早上
小名叫他爺爺下來喝牛奶就說:[幹下來喝精子了]
爺爺很生氣的用拐杖打他
小明很無辜又很生氣的看著爺爺說:[幹你怎的用LP打我]
媽媽進來的:[...]

男性sex卡路里一覽表~

2009-11-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

為何曹操不敢坐飛機

2009-11-23T17:54:00.002+08:00

話說有一次諸葛亮、劉備、孫權、曹操四人同乘飛機，突然遇到緊急情況，需要跳傘逃生。這時候才發現機上只剩下三個降落傘包。大家一陣緊張，這時只見諸葛亮搖搖羽毛扇、清清嗓子說：“這樣吧，山人出幾道題，能答上來的，就跳傘，答不上來的只好自己跳下去了。”其他人沒辦法只好同意。

諸葛亮再搖了搖羽毛扇問劉備：“天上有幾個太陽？”劉備一想，簡單，回答：“一個。”於是拿了個傘包下去了。諸葛亮再問孫權：“天上有幾個月亮?”孫權回答： “一個”他也拿了個傘包下去了。最後輪到曹操。諸葛亮問：“天上有幾個星星？”曹操一怔，懵了！得，回答不上來，只好自己跳下去了。沒想到竟然跳在了海裡，撿回一條命，曹操暗自慶倖。

第二次又四個人坐飛機遇到緊急情況，四人一商量，得，還是老辦法吧。諸葛亮又搖起羽毛扇問劉備：“當年周武王戰勝紂王的那場戰役是？”劉備一想，簡單，回答：“牧野之戰。”諸葛亮點點頭，於是劉備拿了個傘包下去了。諸葛亮再問孫權：“那場戰役死了多少人？”孫權想了想說：“大概有三四萬。”諸葛亮點點頭，孫權拿了個傘包也下去了。曹操不禁偷笑想：“諸葛亮呀諸葛亮，本人可是貫古通今，尤其是軍事，這次你可是栽了。” 只見諸葛亮問：“戰士們都叫什麼名字？”曹操一聽差點沒暈過去，只好自己跳下去了，沒想到竟然又跳在了海裡，撿回一條命，曹操暗自笑。

第三次同樣四個人坐飛機，飛機又遇到緊急情況，曹操一想，諸葛老兒又要整我，乾脆我自己跳下去算了，免受侮辱。於是一橫心，跳了下去，在空中高速下降中,只聽得上面諸葛亮對他喊：

“孟德，今天飛機上有四個降落傘！”

千萬不可以唸這本童話故事書給小朋友聽

2009-11-23T17:49:00.002+08:00

Medaka Box

2009-11-23T17:45:00.000+08:00

Kurokami Medaka, a first year, is elected as Student Council President, and the first thing she does is establish a suggestion box. Since she was just elected as Student Council President, she's holding all the Student Council's responsibilities, and wearing their armbands.

So, she asks for her childhood friend, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, for help.

Dollgun

2009-11-23T17:37:00.003+08:00

The day a young boy was born was the day that the legendary thief died. The many battles that revolve around the treasure left behind by him. Here, the curtains are pulled and the story starts.

Historys Strongest Disciple Kenichi

2009-11-23T17:33:00.001+08:00

Historys Strongest Disciple Kenichi

One of my favorites :D

The story focuses on Kenichi Shirahama, an average 16-year-old high school student who has been picked on his whole life. However, after a month into his freshman year, he meets and befriends the mysterious transfer student, Miu Fūrinji. Driven by his desire to become stronger and to protect those around him, he follows her to Ryōzanpaku, a dojo for those who are truly strong and have mastered their arts gather. After learning basics from Miu, Kenichi is able to beat a high ranking member of the school's karate club, and becomes a target for all the delinquents in the school. Subsequently, Kenichi's daily routine is divided between hellish training under the six masters of Ryōzanpaku, and his fights against the members of Ragnarok, a gang that views him as either a possible ally or an impending threat to their plans. After defeating Ragnarok, he faces a new enemy called YOMI, a group of disciples who are each personally trained by a master of an even bigger organization rivaling Ryōzanpaku, Yami. Along with former members of Ragnarok who join the Shinpaku Alliance, a group created by Kenichi's schoolmate Haruo Niijima, Kenichi now fights Yami to prove his ideals and protect those in need.

Gundam Unicorn

2009-11-23T17:17:00.003+08:00

The novel begins in U.C. 0001, at the very beginning of human space colonization, with the Laplace Incident, a major event that influences the course of human history forever. The main story takes place in U.C. 0096, three years after the events of Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack.

Quessing who is the girl?

2009-11-23T17:09:00.003+08:00

請全選此文章~答案就出來啦!2號!!!!!是女的!!!! 大家都嚇到吧!!!

Beyond the Grave

2009-11-23T17:06:00.002+08:00

Gungrave opens thirteen years after Brandon Heat is betrayed by his best friend Harry MacDowell. He is reborn as Beyond The Grave, and begins a quest of revenge against the crime syndicate. The series then backtracks to Brandon's youth, and follows him and Harry as they rise through the criminal underworld, detailing the circumstances that led to their eventual falling-out.

From A Mother With Love

2009-11-23T17:03:00.002+08:00

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Asura Cryin'

2009-11-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

A semi-serious school action story revolving around the main protagonist, Tomoharu Natsume. He is haunted by a ghostly girl, Misao Minakami, his childhood friend. Tomoharu Natsume takes the opportunity to live on his own when he enters high school in his new place of residence, Meioutei, and starts enjoying a carefree high school life. But his life changed when a beautiful girl named Kurosaki Shuri appears with a trunk which she claimed Tomoharu's brother, Naotaka Natsume, told her to pass it to him. The presence of the trunk causes the appearance of Takatsuki Kanade, a girl dressed like a shrine maiden who is after the trunk. Tomoharu is in possession of the trunk, which reveals secrets about the world they live in.

PS: Introduce by Lek Lek. Quite nice

Defense Devil

2009-11-23T16:54:00.001+08:00

Serialization of the oneshot, Akuma Bengoshi Kukabara.
People die everyday. But what happens when you die? Do you go to heaven or to hell? Then, what happens when you go to hell? Thats where a devil advocate comes in. Before you get dragged to the pits, he/she makes a contract to defend you in exchange for the devil essence that surrounds your soul after dying.

ABC's of ex girlfriends

2009-11-23T16:46:00.002+08:00

A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.

Advantages Of Being A Woman

2009-11-23T16:45:00.002+08:00

Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

The bride tells her husband

2009-11-23T16:43:00.002+08:00

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Girls night out

2009-11-23T16:41:00.002+08:00

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Anyone Up For McDonald’s?

2009-11-23T16:37:00.003+08:00

A Marriage Made In Heaven

2009-11-23T16:37:00.000+08:00

One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.
A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get married in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks "Just wondering, if things don't work out will we be able to get a divorce?"
With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

2009-11-23T16:29:00.002+08:00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

吃完麻辣雞爪~記得要洗手唷

2009-11-23T15:24:00.001+08:00

Greeting cards I wish they had

2009-11-06T15:47:00.002+08:00

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am…
(Inside card) – That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go…
(Inside card) – Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry…
(Inside card) – Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age…
(Inside card) – Almost lifelike!
7.. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) – Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
8. We’ve been friends for a very long time…
(Inside card) – What do you say we stop?
9. I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) – It’s almost like you’re still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy…
(Inside card) – Did you ever find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
(Inside card) – I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday…
(Inside card) – So we’re having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in
Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia.)
14. Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
(Inside card) – What was I thinking?
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!…
(Inside card) – Too bad no one likes your husband.

Random Thoughts of the Day

2009-11-05T11:46:00.002+08:00

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

3. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

4. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

5. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

7. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

8. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is..

9. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

10. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

11. Bad decisions make good stories.

12. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

13. That's enough, Nickelback.

14. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

15. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

16. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

17. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

18. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

19. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

20. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

21. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

22. Was learning cursive really necessary?

23. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

24. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

25. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

26. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

27. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

28. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

29. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

30. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

31. When I meet a new guy, I'm terrified of mentioning something he hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

32. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

33. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

34. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

35. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

36. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

37. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

38. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

39. I wonder if cops ever get pi$$ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

40. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

41. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

2009-11-05T10:26:00.002+08:00

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.	Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
2.	We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
3.	Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
4.	Helpless is not cute.
5.	Get to the point.
6.	Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us. Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
7.	You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
8.	If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
9.	Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
10.	We would not wear high heels to impress you.
11.	Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
12.	For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
13.	If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
14.	If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
15.	Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
16.	We need to vegetate.
17.	We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
18.	We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
19.	We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
20.	When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
21.	It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
22.	Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
23.	If it itches, it will be scratched.
24.	If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
25.	Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
26.	Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
27.	Sundays equals sports. Period.
28.	Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29.	When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
30.	You have enough clothes.
31.	You have too many shoes.
32.	Crying is blackmail.
33.	Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
34.	Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
35.	No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
36.	We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
37.	Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
38.	Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
39.	Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
40.	A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
41.	Check your oil.
42.	Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
43.	It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
44.	It doesn't matter which quiz.
45.	Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
46.	If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
47.	If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
48.	You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
49.	Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
50.	Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
51.	If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
52.	Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
53.	Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
54.	Ditto melon.
55.	If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.

Why I Fired My Secretary

2009-11-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And I just sat there…
On the couch…
Naked.

Meet Marvin, Men’s Answer To Maxine

2009-10-09T14:52:00.002+08:00

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: When will women will be equal to men?
A: When they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Fact: In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Fact: I married a Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
Fact: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a Wedding Cake.

Dear Employees

2009-10-09T14:14:00.001+08:00

So I’m at work yesterday and the mail clerk starts handing out letters from upper management. At this point, I’m thinking “Oh crap, how am I gonna tell my family I got laid off?” Fortunately, I’m only 29 years old. You’ll understand when you read the letter.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can get.

Great, as if I didn’t get enough shit already….

Ladies, Read Only The First Part – Men, The Rest

2009-10-09T14:02:00.002+08:00

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading….

…
…
…
…
…
…

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment

2009-10-09T13:49:00.001+08:00

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Nice Quotes

2009-09-15T10:20:00.003+08:00

在的大学老师特别能忍耐，能够忍耐我们无缘无故地旷课，能够忍耐我们上课迟到后还屁颠屁颠地走进课室，能够忍耐我们上课时人模狗样地趴在桌子上睡觉，能够忍耐我们旁若无人地高谈阔论，能够忍耐我们趁老师不注意时消失得无影无踪，能够忍耐我们所交的作业千篇一律地照抄别人的或者漏洞百出，能够忍耐我们考试时千方百计地作弊，能够忍耐我们考试不及格后还死皮赖脸地去参加补考。

钱可以买到钟表，但是买不到时间。钱可以买到药物，但是买不到健康。钱可以买到血液，但是买不到生命，钱可以买到躯壳，但是买不到真爱。

单身是领悟，恋爱是失误，分手是觉悟，结婚是错误，离婚是醒悟，再婚是执迷不悟，没有情人是废物,情人多了是动物。

有人告诉我，鱼的记忆只有7秒，7秒之后以前的记忆就都没有了。我愿是条鱼，全心全意只爱你7秒，7秒之后我又重新爱上了

不要在衣服上粘了几根鸡毛就想冒充天使，不要在驴身上涂上白色的立邦漆骑着就想冒充白马王子.

善待自己，虐待别人！

男人是用来靠的，所以要可靠；女人是用来爱的，所以要可爱。

为兄弟两肋插刀，为美女插兄弟两刀。兄弟如手足，美女如衣服，谁穿我衣服我砍他手足；谁动我手足我穿他衣服。

Final Fantasy XIII

2009-09-10T12:37:00.005+08:00

The plot focuses on the fal'Cie , beings created from the crystals residing inside them. The people marked by the fal'Cie for a greater purpose are named the l'Cie.But being a l'Cie has a price; for should they die before fulfilling their Focus, they will turn into monsters called "Cie Corpses".Some thirteen centuries ago, a fal'Cie constructed a paradise for humanity: The shell-like city of Cocoon floating high above the surface of the world now known as Pulse, both maintained by their own fal'Cie. Cocoon's fal'Cie created life forms and machines for its inhabitants to use, and humanity flourished. Over time, the people of Cocoon began to fear for the safety of their world, and were worried that it would be cast down from the sky into the hell that they see Pulse to be.In present day, the wilderness of Pulse has strange effects on people, and the theocratic Cocoon Sanctum quarantines and exiles anyone who has been influenced by Pulse from the city with the help of its mighty army, PSICOM.] However, as Snow leads Team Nora in a vain attempt to stop the purging, the mysterious Lightning fights her way past PSICOM soldiers to find Pulse's fal'Cie with the aid of Sazh. But by a chain of events, these three along with two of the Purgees, Vanille and Hope, are chosen by the fal'Cie of Pulse against their will to become l'Cie among others, and with that become enemies of humanity that would bring about the downfall of Cocoon.

Why I Fired My Secretary

2009-09-09T20:17:00.001+08:00

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Sunday School Lesson

2009-09-09T20:15:00.001+08:00

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”

… the teacher fainted!

I Just Want You To Hold Me…

2009-09-09T20:11:00.003+08:00

I haven’t quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never really figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t fee like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT?”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

Pleasing A Women

2009-09-09T20:05:00.004+08:00

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

Fresh Start Fresh Meat FRESHMEN & GIRL. xD

2009-06-01T09:41:00.003+08:00

20 mins before class.

- watch out for cleopatra. xD.

- focus on lecture.

- Have a happy day

- Control. xD

Owned by Emotional! xD!

2009-05-29T22:39:00.002+08:00

- Emotion can kill a person.

- Man don't fear die, old,and poor.

- They're juz fear tat they can't control their emotion. xD

- Well, I juz get pwned by my own emotion.

"Man only reliaze they mistake when they fall?"

I do think I agree with that.

dung dung dung.. dung dung!

2009-05-29T21:03:00.002+08:00

Gone Ipoh watch terminator with ah Weng, Ying Ling, Yi Ping and me! xD

- Arrive Sam Tet, ah weng take stuff.

- gone eat lunch.

- Arrive Jusco, go buy ticket.

- go SnJ.

- go Popular.

- watch terminator: salvation.

- Finish watch, went to hotel take brochure.

- Gone eat dinner.

- Chui sui.

- Arrive Kampar.

- Rest.

Coming Sem

2009-05-26T22:37:00.003+08:00

To do List:-

- Control Emotion

- Control Financial expenses

- Care Less

- Study

- Time Management

- Don't skip class

- Sleep More!

- Play More!

- Study More!

Holiday in KK.

2009-05-25T12:15:00.004+08:00

14 May 2009 - Gone Yoyo yum cha with Joan and Heng in the evening.

15 May 2009 - Watch movie, "angels and demons" with Ng and afredza

16 May 2009 - Gone Bukit Padang yum cha with Kong, Wong, Ng and allyson!

17 May 2009 - Watch movie, "Push" with Kelvin su, Kenny Yap and Wong

22 May 2009 - Gone Yoyo again yum cha with Afredza, Ng, Ong and his sis!

23 May 2009 - Watch movie, "Night in the museum 2" with Ong, afredza and Ng

24 May 2009 - Family's Day! Family gathering, eat and talks!

25 May 2009 - BBQ at Ong hse and stayover!

26 May 2009 - Back from Ong Hse, eat breakfast with daddy and go pumber-ing! xD

"GODHand"

2009-05-21T10:29:00.004+08:00

The backstory of God Hand reveals that long ago, a fallen angel became the Demon King Angra and attempted to destroy the world of humans using an army of demons and spectres. A man holding the power of God within his arms defeated Angra, sending him into exile once again. The man was then given the title of "Godhand" by the people he saved. A clan of humans was established to protect the Godhands. It is said that anyone who possesses them will be "capable of becoming either god or demon."

PS: This game need a lot of effort. oh my GOD! My hand muscle pain everytime i play this game. What the hell! It's really need a GOD Hand to play the hard mode =.= xD

Outdated Post - May 13

2009-05-18T18:48:00.002+08:00

Hmmm.. Due to the connection error recently, I less online already.

May 13
- play till morning with Billgates.
- Sleep for 4 hours.
- Pack my stuffs.
- Eat lunch with joseph and lek lek
- gone ktm station.

After 2 hours ride, I've reach KL Sentral. Then, I was gone looking for Bus goin to KLIA.
xD. It had been a long time since I went to KLIA last time. Age 5 i think. Too bad I didn't bring camera tat day. xD

Reached KK at 10pm.
It is good to be able to breath in fresh air again. haha.

Night after ADIS!

2009-05-07T20:57:00.002+08:00

I took the exam, sleep and eat dinner with tik mun at Ghani :D

It is say that, ur greatest enemy is someone beside you.

I guess that is true.

Believe? Trust? Go Die plz.

You kill part of me inside.

Nothing will change it.

I have never have this kind of feeling for a long time.

God Bless Me. Demon Awaken! xD

I wanna to crush someone so badly which I fear I cant control myself.

I wanna to destroy someone.

I wanna to kill someone.

I wanna to hurt someone.

据说90%的男人都这样想

2009-05-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

男女相处是很复杂很微妙的事情,写这些东西就是让女人了解男人的真实想法和立场,聪明的女人会从中得到很多启示：

　　1、90%的男人不愿陪老婆逛街，去了，90%也是被老婆拉去的。

　　上帝赋予男女不同的性别，也赋予了各自对生活的不同理解。聪明女人让男人好好地陪你逛街要记住三点：1.别把他搞得太累或太穷2.出门前也问问他想买点什么3.运用你的聪明才智，尽量让你需要的在中间买，他需要的在开始和最后买。

2、90%的男人不愿去丈母娘家，去了，90%是为了家庭团结，给老婆面子。

　　3、90%的男人都幻想有钱，有了钱后，要换、换、换，除了孩子，换掉所有的一切，可90%的什么也没有换。

　　大丈夫不可一日无权，小丈夫不可一日无钱。男人天生控制欲强，希望当领导，希望做上司，希望受崇拜。男人的气度，多建立于他的身世、地位及胸襟之上。试想：失去冠冕的皇帝、失去战场的战士、失去球拍的健儿、失去崇拜者的偶像、失去财富的二世祖……还算什么？

　　4、90%的男人都喜欢看情色小说或影像，但90%的会说很少看或不喜欢看或没有看过。

　　5、90%的男人都有性幻想，而90%的幻想的对象不是自己的老婆。

　　不得不承认男人有个普遍的阴暗心理：总希望能和一个三围够好的女人来次激情的夜晚，然后付不付责任就不用考虑了。可惜这仅仅是梦中场景。

　　6、90%的男人愿意接近女性，想留下好印象，或成为护花使者，但90%的没有达到愿望。

　　7、90%的男人都自我感觉在各方面做得很好了，可90%的还被老婆指出一大堆毛病。

　　8、90%的男人看别人的老婆很顺眼，但90%的不敢靠近。

　　“老婆还是别人的好”，这话的确俗，但是很多男人都在内心念叨了上百遍。据说出于动物本能，每个男人都有着多妻的欲望，只是大多数人顶多过过眼瘾和嘴瘾。只有少部分人付诸了行动。

　　9、90%的男人不愿听老婆唠叨，但90%还是听了。

　　10、90%的男人知道自己的缺点，可90%的改不了。

　　11、90%的男人看到漂亮的女人，有90%的在想，她嫁给谁了，没有让我找到真是遗憾。

　　每个男人都喜欢美女,不管他嘴上承不承认。聪明的女人会这样鞭策男友,主动指着接上的一个美女问男友:她漂亮不?(千万别问,她比我漂亮不?切记!!)矫正效果会比全智贤那套更好。

　　12、90%的男人后悔结婚早了，有90%的说，如果现在结婚就不是这样了。

　　他不是不需要家庭提供的方便，而是怕家庭带给他的麻烦。在他们看来，爱情的要求并不高，只要两个人懂得相爱就够了，但婚姻不同，是可以使两个人都受伤的地方，所以，只恋爱不结婚是不错的选择，既可以保证相爱的人之间的吸引力，又避免了许多麻烦。

　　13、90%的男人总感觉床上功夫很威风，但90%的对自己还是不满意。

　　男人跟自己要好的女人在没上床之前，肯定像节目预告一样，先向她炫耀一番自己在那方面有多厉害。一旦有了性失败的经历，再牛再狂的男人都会谦恭一阵子。

　　14、90%的男人想去风流潇洒一回，可90%的怕出事不好交待。

　　很多女人指责男人花心，无责任感，心有旁骛，其实骨子里，居家男人所要的，不过是一点出轨、一点浪漫、一点寄托、一点意外和惊喜。他自己最希望的收梢是：在什么也没有发生之前，快快收手，几方都相安无事。可偏偏总是女人不让他如愿——常常是这边先死了鱼，那边又撕了网。

　　15、90%的男人看到热恋中的人，卿卿我我，有90%的会说，让我再来一回吧。

Karma

2009-05-07T08:06:00.002+08:00

I treat people the way they treat me.

If you want it that way, fine with me.

I won't hold any responsibilities.

For I won't care anymore, go to hell as you like.

"hahahahahahaha"

人生可没什么能不能做到，只是去不去做！！

Hatred Resurrection

2009-05-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

Congratulation in making me to hate you MORE

Nothing much to say. Just 3 words.

" I HATE YOU"

Dream Seeker

2009-05-06T20:09:00.002+08:00

Oh my Oh my!

After so many years of research I have found my answers! xD

I have figure out the reasons why I'm emo!

Oh my Oh my!

My mum's son is a GENIUS! xD

I see it! I see it!

I see my dream!

Nothing can stop me!

Except the being itself. xD

I'm going to capture it and hold it.

Cross the border and you are dead!

I'm Sellfish! I'm Possesive!

Push (2009)

2009-05-04T19:05:00.000+08:00

Ten years ago, a young boy named Nick Gant is running through a motel with his father. They pass a maid and after a glance at her watch go into a room. Nick's dad tells him that he needs to run and hide and stay off the radar of Division. He also says that one day a girl will come to him with a flower and that he needs to follow her, since she'll be able to help him take down Division. Nick cries and says he doesn't understand, but his father just apologizes, saying, "I always prayed you were special." He hugs Nick and then telekinetically shoves him through the wall just before a team of agents (led by the maid) burst in and subdues him while Nick watches. The head agent, Henry Carver (Djimon Hounsou), enters the room and a concussive force rips through the room, resulting in the dad's body flying out. Carver emerges, saying, "What a waste," and orders the body to be packaged for dissection.

S. Darko (2009)

2009-05-04T18:58:00.000+08:00

Samantha Darko (Daveigh Chase) follows her rebellious best friend Corey Richardson (Briana Evigan) on a cross-country road trip from Virginiato California in an attempt to become a professional dancer. Their dreams are cut short when their water pump blows outside of Conejo Springs, a tiny Utah town. Unable to leave until their car is fixed, Sam and Corey are stranded with the locals. They are less than thrilled at the delay, and when an unexplained meteorite crash-lands in town that night, it soon becomes clear that there is much more at play than just a chance breakdown.

Plagued by bizarre hallucinatory dreams warning her of the universe's imminent end, as well as grief over her own loss of family, Sam must face the demons she had fled back at home. Aided by the unlikely town locals, Sam learns the true meaning of family and friendship, and tries to save what really matters.

4 hours Before Calculus Exam

2009-05-04T11:02:00.003+08:00

Oh my God, Hopefully I wont die hard on this subject ><

Don't kill me plz Mr.Calculus. I'm scare T_T

Juz Let me pass this Oh God Almighty! Zeus! or Whoever It is!

Yo! Maths only ma! No need scare!

Something is missing in my life. When do I really "wake up"? xD

A sem coming to end again. Nthg special this sem. Oh my God!

I ought to my life more interesting! xD It is not a way to live a Life Damnit!

Anythg we can do in kampar? Fishing? xD

Oh my, many stuff needed to be upgrade next sem! :D

I'm going to make sure I climb to top this time! xD No more doubts.

Thx to a person for reminding me. Damn, Why do I need to be remind everytime?

Slap me harder next time. xD

I dunno when I will fatal error again.

Processor error I guess. xD! Too much dump needed to be clean!

Such a waste for a Genius not to maximize his potentials. xD!

I got an answer for someone now, I'll live my life the way I like! whether it is for someone or myself. I don't care anymore but as long as I'm happy! xD.

The purpose of my life Is to make a purpose out of it.

We are the writer of our life and I won't let anyone write my story!!

Viva La Vida

2009-05-03T16:44:00.001+08:00

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the King!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be King?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringings
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh)

I Like thIs song very very very much! :D Long Live Coldplay

Sunday Early Morning

2009-05-03T07:48:00.004+08:00

Wow! I sleep The whole day yesterday! xD

Hmm... Goin to eat breakfast lu~ hehe.

A lonely start for a lonely morning.

Need to study calculus the whole day. No hopes no hopes.

Hmm... Need to blank my brain out and focus on study.

Star Light Star bright,

First Star that I see Tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish Tonight,

"Can I go to die? "

"Hahahahahaha"

Finally Finish Scanning ><"

2009-05-02T07:40:00.002+08:00

Jesus Christ, I've finally finish it =.="

Time to go bath and get ready to kill Mr.PengajianMalaysia.

Oh my God! I hopes I can at least pass! xD

Hmmm... sincerely sorry for a person, I don't have the right to judge anyone for I've done the same stuff before. Haha. Bath Bath~

Midnight before Pengajian Malaysia

2009-05-02T01:17:00.005+08:00

next plan : Ghani and Study. Hopes I can manage it. haiz...

History History. Let's be fren. xD

Don't kill me tomorrow. I don't want to see you again.

Energy didn't recharge at all. FUCK!

Night before Pengajian Malaysia

2009-05-01T21:13:00.004+08:00

In the morning I go find J, give Him the ticket and a round of Dota.

Then, I go atm and the freaking machine rejected my card!

Oh my God, I start thinking, "Not this kind of shit again, u gonna be kidding me! xD"

Well, God Bless me the card work out fine the second time.

It is possible not to live for others? xD. A fren of mine revoke this question to me once and I've been thinking on it for long.

In afternoon, I play pets society and restaurant city. Oh my God!!

I haven't start study Pengajian Malaysia yet!

xD! Ain't that challenging?

Well, I just don't have the mood to do anythg. Can't tell me why? xD.

I've lost the will to fight. I've lost the strength to do anything. I've lose to myself.

Set a goal but go for it. Main problem is how much do I really will go for it?

Hatred is a double-edge sword. Once I give up hate, I don't have a goal.

It will be like once your soul is taken out from your body, what left of it?

I doing everything half-hearted.

God Bless me.

Will I ever found a glimpse of light in the darkness of my life?

Angels and Demons

2009-05-01T12:55:00.002+08:00

Illuminati!! xD! Anti-matter and etc!

A movie make based on the novel written by Dan Brown! xD!

Quite nice. Check it Out.

http://www.angelsanddemons.com/

Blood!! the Last vampire xD!

2009-05-01T12:52:00.002+08:00

The story is set in the American Yokota Air Base located in post-WWII Japan, a few months before the beginning of the Vietnam War. Its main protagonist is a girl named Saya, who hunts hematophagous bat-like creatures called chiropterans for a secret organization known as the Red Shield.

The trailer seem interesting! xD

If u like the anime, I think u definitely like the movie too~ xD

Data Struc Exam!

2009-04-29T13:08:00.003+08:00

Oh my! Spend 6 hours study on this subject ><

Hopefully I can get at least B! xD!

Well, I went to eat breakfast with J this morning and lunch in the afternoon.

Damn, It is so damn hot.

Is the world Global warming now? xD!

Next task to do today ^^

Cursing nelson and tik mun! xD!

Man’s Worst Nightmare

2009-04-29T13:07:00.001+08:00

After a long night of making love, Danny rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked Sheila if she had one at hand.

“There might be some matches in the top drawer,” she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry. “Is this your husband?” he inquired nervously.

“No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him.

“Your boyfriend then?” he asked. “No, not at all,” she said, nibbling away at his ear.

“Well, who is he then?” demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, Sheila replied, “That’s me before the operation.”

God Bless me

2009-04-29T06:49:00.002+08:00

Things to do list today : --

->Promise J to go eat breakfast at 龙凤谷 at 7am!

->Gonna curse nelson and tik mun non-stop for suggesting that idea!

->Gonna pull myself out before too late!

->Tonight beat small people!

->Brainwash myself!

by kentZ!

Oh yeah~~

I heard thIs long time ago,

what you wanted won't be urs, what you not wanted will be urs.

Aint Life just freaking damn challenging? xD!

I need to change my concept of living!! xD!

Time for revolutionary!!

what pervertism is thIs!!!

2009-04-29T01:19:00.000+08:00